Mar 4, 2021When Covid Comes to the FarmWell, just my luck. Two days before I was set to get my first vaccine shot, I started feeling sore. I was hoping it was just soreness from pruning our thirty-two apple trees (yes, I know I’m about a month late pruning, but, in my defense, just a month behind…Covid3 min readCovid3 min read
Feb 25, 2021My Philosophical Thoughts on Baby StrollersLately I’ve been thinking deeply about humanity and strollers. The fact that humans still exist is pretty astonishing, given that parents in the caveman era had to lug babies through the woods without dropping them, all while getting chased by velociraptors. I’ve never been chased by a velociraptor while transporting…Parenting3 min readParenting3 min read
Feb 18, 2021How to Procrastinate on a Farm — The Misfit FarmerThere’s a farmer here who hasn’t harvested his soybeans yet. Yep, it’s mid-February and some people are already itching to plant corn, and he’s still got soybeans standing on the stalk, which makes my heart brim with admiration. …Farm3 min readFarm3 min read
Feb 11, 2021A Prolonged Dream of Kokomo — The Misfit FarmerIt doesn’t snow here often, but when it does, you can rest safely knowing my wife’s grandpa Lowry is on patrol. When the Department of Transportation snow plows get to our community, the plow drivers can just stop awhile and go sledding or participate in a discussion on the merits…Farm3 min readFarm3 min read
Feb 4, 2021A Petition to Cancel February, PermanentlyFebruary, ugh-a month so bad it’s reduced to 28 days. It’s also anchored by the holiday with the worst candy. How many teeth have cracked on those little hearts that say “Be mine”? Beware is more like it. The worst thing about February is that it’s cold and bleak and…3 min read3 min read
Jan 28, 2021When Pigs Fly and A Farmer ExercisesIn a clear indication of how behind the times our society is, pot belly pigs bear the weight of an unattainable standard. Really, it’s a double standard if you ask me. While most farmers spend years working on a respectable pot belly to drape over their belt buckle and show…Farm3 min readFarm3 min read
Jan 21, 2021The Danger of Stranger DangerIf you ever visit Little Rays of Sunshine Daycare, remember to walk fast, keep your head down, and don’t make eye contact-or else the three-year-olds will have sufficient time to exploit your fear. They like to ride tricycles over to the playground fence and give strange parents the stink eye…2 min read2 min read
Jan 14, 2021Good Tool Sheds Make Good Neighbors[An OLD FARMER chews the cud with a YOUNG FARMER, while both sit on benches in front of an Ann Taylor store at the mall. The two talk the finer points and intricacies of a farmer’s hardest task, tool wrangling. …Farm3 min readFarm3 min read
Jan 7, 2021Imagining a Better PlaceAfter thoughtful consideration, I think I’ve discovered my new dream job. When I grow up, I’d like to be the old man who sits by the trash compactor. I’m not sure what the job qualifications are, but I believe I’d be qualified. Basically, the old man just sits in a…Farm3 min readFarm3 min read
Dec 31, 2020The Three Truths of Raising LivestockIf you walk far on our farm during winter, you’ll likely come up missing footwear, especially if you try to traverse the Bog of Despair, which is centered around the hay ring. It contains a few old-growth rubber boots that are as firmly rooted in the muck as swamp gums…Farm2 min readFarm2 min read
